The Plus One Theory

Episode 28: Unleashing Your Story: A Journey from Pain to Purpose

Pam Dwyer Season 1 Episode 28

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I'm launching a new series for aspiring authors to guide you through the messy, meaningful, and magical journey of telling your story. My own path to authorship began in a therapist's office and evolved through personal healing, publishing mishaps, and unexpected connections that transformed my book and purpose.

• Started writing from therapy journal entries that made my therapist laugh and cry
• Hit wall of imposter syndrome while writing about traumatic experiences
• Waited until after my mother passed to publish, balancing truth with compassion
• First self-published on Amazon with no professional help—and it showed
• Met a publicist on anniversary cruise who connected me with editor and publisher
• Discovered many readers related to my story, proving I wasn't alone
• Created the Plus One Theory from this journey of healing and helping others
• Advice for writers: expect imposter syndrome, be gentle with yourself, find support
• Your past doesn't define you; it prepares you for purpose

Check out the crowdfunding campaign for the Plus One Theory book at PamDwyer.com or PamDwyerspeaker.com. Even $5 or $10 helps, and there are amazing reward tiers perfect for individuals, teams, and aspiring authors.


Be a Guest on The Plus One Theory Podcast!

Are you someone who believes in the power of kindness, resilience, and intentional growth? Do you have a story about how small, meaningful steps have made a difference in your life or career?

I’d love to invite you to share your journey on The Plus One Theory Podcast!

This podcast is all about exploring how we can apply the Plus One Theory to create ripples of positivity and purpose in our personal and professional lives. I’m especially excited to feature guests who work in heart-centered careers—nurses, teachers, counselors, nonprofit leaders, caregivers, or anyone who dedicates their energy to helping others.

Your story could inspire listeners who are navigating their own challenges and looking for ways to take that next small step forward. Whether you’ve used kindness to overcome adversity, found strength in vulnerability, or applied intentional action to make an impact in your community, I want to hear from you!

Interested? Here’s How to Reach Out:

  • Email me with a brief introduction about yourself and your story.
  • Let me know how the Plus One Theory has played a role in your life or career.

Let’s work together to inspire others and create a ripple effect of kindness and resilience. I can’t wait to hear your story!

Share this with someone who inspires you...

Speaker 1:

Hey friends, welcome back to the Plus One Theory podcast. I'm your host, pam Dwyer, and I'm so excited to launch a brand new series with you today. So you'll want to be an author, whether you've been secretly writing in notebooks for years or someone's just told you hey, you should write a book. This series is for you. Have you ever wondered what you need to do to actually write a book, to get it published? I'm sure there's lots of other questions like do you you make any money? How much does it cost? Is it expensive? How do you do it? How do you market it? Well, we're diving into this messy, meaningful and magical part of telling your story. As always, this show is rooted in one belief you don't have to overhaul your life to change it. You just take one more small step, one more action, one more choice. That's the plus one theory. And a quick disclaimer I'm not a therapist or a mental health professional. I'm just a woman who's walked through some hard stuff and I want to help you finish stronger than you started. So let's get started, shall we?

Speaker 1:

My journey as an author didn't begin with a publishing deal or a plan. It started in a therapist's office. Every week I'd bring journal entries, raw and filtered emotional pages, and my therapist would read them, of course. But they would either laugh or cry, or sometimes both, and she would always say Pam, you need to write a book, girl. At first I thought, who me? But the idea stuck. I started writing down the experiences that created the brokenness I was working through, the moments that left marks. You know the memories that shaped my mindset. Entry by entry, story by story, a book began to take shape. But let me tell you, it wasn't all inspiration and aha moments. I hit a wall, a big one. It's called imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1:

The more I wrote, the more I thought who am I to write this? I found myself revisiting the same coping skills I had spent years building with my therapist, of course, skills I thought were rock solid, but somewhere along the way I had gotten a little sloppy with them. Old feelings of unworthiness started creeping in, shame started whispering in the background again. And as I wrote, I wasn't just telling stories, I was reliving them. And it was hard and it brought up a lot, not just for me but for my family too. Some of my siblings didn't want to go back there. They had worked hard to move on and I so get that.

Speaker 1:

I'll confess something here I waited until my mama passed to publish this book. I took care of her the last ten years of her life. We had come so far. We found forgiveness, we found peace. I didn't want to risk hurting her or ruining all that work we did together. She never fully realized how her choices, like the neglect or the lack of structure or just being there for us, created patterns. I had spent years unlearning, but I had forgiven her and I still had to face it all in order to heal.

Speaker 1:

Though now, just because I had a powerful story, it doesn't mean I knew how to publish one. I uploaded that first version to Amazon like I was a true author, a publisher. I mean no editor, no cover designer, no clue what I was doing, and let's just say it wasn't great. My friends and family were so kind. They were excited for me, but they didn't say anything. But I knew I could feel it and I could read it. But then Tim and I went on our 30th anniversary vacation, which we'd always planned to go, on a cruise to Spain of all places. I met a publicist on that ship and we ran into one another. She introduced me to an editor and a publisher who I still work with today. They helped me reshape From the Piney Woods into a book that I was proud of instead of embarrassed about.

Speaker 1:

And then something happened, something unexpected. People started reaching out. They saw themselves in my story. They saw their own pain, their own survival, their own hope. And that's when I realized that I wasn't one of few that grew up like that. I was one of many. I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one suffering through shame and silence and suddenly I wanted to help all the people out there. I wanted everyone to find their voice and feel seen. That's when the plus one theory was born. It was a natural next step. I had lived it. Now I wanted to teach it, to share it. I always say your past doesn't define you, it prepares you. That's the mantra of my book. And now I had the proof. I started creating not just stories but systems, tools to help people take that next right step. And now that's the foundation of my next book, the Plus One Theory.

Speaker 1:

If you are thinking about writing your story, here's what I'll say. You'll feel imposter syndrome, it's normal. Write anyway. You'll uncover pain, but be gentle with yourself. You might stir up emotions in others, and that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to tell the truth with love. I mean, it's how you saw things happening and it's not always the same as what someone else sees. But our lived experiences are our own lived experiences and you will need support. Find your circle, find people who get it. So if you've got a story stirring in your heart and your soul, listen to it. Let this be your plus one moment, the first small step that leads to a bigger shift.

Speaker 1:

Because, folks, we all go through struggles. We all have pain in our past struggles. We all have pain in our past, but let's use it right. Let's use it for fuel, let's use it for purpose, to make a wonderful, positive impact in this world. Make it worth it. If you'd like to support the Plus One Theory book, check out the crowdfunding campaign on PamDwyercom or PamDwyerpeakercom. There's links on both of those. Even $5 or $10 helps and there are some amazing reward tiers, perfect for individuals, teams and yes, aspiring authors. Next week, we'll dive into what I wish I'd known before publishing my first book and some hard-e, hard earned tips for anyone thinking about hitting upload. Until then, remember you're not broken, you're becoming, and your story matters. It always has.