The Plus One Theory
The Plus One Theory Podcast explores how small, intentional actions can create big, lasting impacts in our personal and professional lives. Each episode features inspiring guests sharing their experiences with kindness, resilience, and the transformative power of doing just one more, The Plus One Theory in action.
Subscribe to our podcast newsletter!
https://pam-dwyer-speaker.beehiiv.com/subscribe
The Plus One Theory
Episode 21: Your Truth is the Filter That Shows Who Really Loves You
Speaking your truth is the foundation of who you are, especially when you've spent years trying to be what everyone else wants you to be. Being authentic filters out people who don't truly love you while attracting those who appreciate you for who you really are.
• Growing up performing to be accepted is exhausting and disconnects you from your true self
• When you stop performing, some people will leave, revealing they didn't love the real you
• Rejection teaches us that people who truly love you stay even through disagreements
• My five-year-old granddaughter's experience with rejection reminded me to find people who value you
• The Plus One Theory encourages taking one small step toward authenticity each day
• Stop pouring energy into people who don't show up and start asking where you can be more yourself
Join our book giveaway for May featuring "S.H.E. Share, Heal, Empower" by Shannon Hogan Cohen - head to PamDwyerspeaker.com and click the book giveaway link to enter. Share with friends for extra entries!
Be a Guest on The Plus One Theory Podcast!
Are you someone who believes in the power of kindness, resilience, and intentional growth? Do you have a story about how small, meaningful steps have made a difference in your life or career?
I’d love to invite you to share your journey on The Plus One Theory Podcast!
This podcast is all about exploring how we can apply the Plus One Theory to create ripples of positivity and purpose in our personal and professional lives. I’m especially excited to feature guests who work in heart-centered careers—nurses, teachers, counselors, nonprofit leaders, caregivers, or anyone who dedicates their energy to helping others.
Your story could inspire listeners who are navigating their own challenges and looking for ways to take that next small step forward. Whether you’ve used kindness to overcome adversity, found strength in vulnerability, or applied intentional action to make an impact in your community, I want to hear from you!
Interested? Here’s How to Reach Out:
- Email me with a brief introduction about yourself and your story.
- Let me know how the Plus One Theory has played a role in your life or career.
Let’s work together to inspire others and create a ripple effect of kindness and resilience. I can’t wait to hear your story!
Share this with someone who inspires you...
Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Plus One Theory podcast. I'm your host, pam Dwyer, and if you're new here, welcome. I'm so glad you're listening with us today. Before we dive in, here's what this podcast is all about. The plus one theory is the belief that when you feel like you've reached your limit, there's always one more step you can take. One more act of kindness, one more choice to keep going and one more way to show up for yourself or someone else Small, intentional steps that change our lives over time. Also, a quick disclaimer I'm not a doctor or therapist. I'm just a real person who's lived a lot of life, made a lot of mistakes, healed through even more, and wants to walk this journey with you.
Speaker 1:Today, we're talking about speaking your truth, even when it's difficult. What is your truth? Well, it's not a buzzword. It's the foundation of who you are, and the truth is. Sometimes it's hard to even know what our truth is, especially if you've spent years, maybe even decades, trying to be what everyone else wants you to be.
Speaker 1:For me, growing up, I felt like I had to perform in order to be accepted, like I could just be the funny one, the helpful one, the dependable one, and then maybe I would be loved, maybe I'd finally belong, and sometimes it worked, but a lot of the times it didn't. I just didn't want to disappoint anyone that I cared about, especially Really anyone. It was sort of like my guarantee of them liking me, allowing me to be in their circle. But that performance, it's exhausting. You keep twisting yourself into someone else, someone else's idea of what acceptable is, until one day you realize that you don't even recognize yourself anymore. You have no idea who you are because you're so busy being someone else. That's not true to yourself. It's not your truth.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about the pain that comes with living your truth, though, because here's the part no one tells you. When you stop performing and start showing up as your real self, some people will leave, the people that don't really love you for who you are, and it hurts. It still hurts until you start telling yourself you know these people didn't really love me in the way I thought they did. There are people I love deeply friends, family, people I laughed with, cried with, shared life with who simply left my life over things that felt, honestly, sort of trivial, and what I've learned is this If someone walks away over one disagreement or because you finally stood in your truth. They probably didn't love you to begin with. I mean the real you. They loved the version of you that made them comfortable.
Speaker 1:Let's just be honest my ex-husband didn't really love me the way I thought he did. I mean, how could he have left so easily? He left me and our son without a second thought, only to replace us with another family. It shattered me and it reminded me of my childhood, my own dad, my dad. He left his seven children and wife to go and be with another wife and another family. He didn't want us. That rejection has stayed in my heart and soul for my entire life. It's something I've battled, that rejection, and that shattered me too. But now, looking back, I can see that the pain taught me something pretty powerful the people who love you for you. They stay, they show up. Even when it's difficult, even when you don't agree and have a horrible argument, they're still there at the end of the day because you work it out. If you truly love someone, true, true love is when you work together through the difficult times and accept each other for who you are.
Speaker 1:Last week, my five-year-old granddaughter reminded me of this very thing in the most tender way. We were at my grandson's baseball game and she was playing with some older kids. She was laughing and running and having the best time, until suddenly she came to me crying Big crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, and she said they told me they didn't want to play with me, grammy, they told me to go away, to quit following them. Oh man, my heart just broke. I saw her little face trying to process this feeling of rejection that I've spent my entire life trying to make sense of. I looked her in the eye and I said sweetie, if they don't want you in their circle, then you find someone who does. You don't waste your energy being sad about people who don't see how amazing you are.
Speaker 1:That moment wasn't just for her, it was for me too, a reminder that about being willing to show the whole you, your strengths, your scars, your soft spots and your weaknesses, and letting the right people love you for all of it, just as you are. And, I'll be honest, it's scary sometimes, but here's what I know when you live your truth, you don't have to keep trying to make people like you. And, I'll be honest, it's scary sometimes, but here's what I know when you live your truth. You don't have to keep trying to make people like you. Your truth does the filtering for you. The right people will stay, the others will fade, and that's okay. I mean, why do we waste so much energy in trying to fit in where we, where people don't want us? Or you know just the all the healing that has to be done when someone stops loving you. But I, again, I just say if they stop loving you, I don't think they really loved you to begin with, not the way you deserve.
Speaker 1:So this is where the plus one theory comes in. Maybe you're not ready to share everything of yourself. Maybe you're still figuring out what your truth even is, and that's okay too. You don't have to overhaul your life. You just take one step today, one moment of clarity, one breath where you can say I'm allowed to be me, because that's how healing begins, that's how strength builds and that's how your life starts to reflect the truth of who you really are. So here's my challenge for you this week Stop pouring your energy into the people who don't show up. Start asking yourself where can I be a little more me today. Give yourself permission to stop performing and start living your life, your real truth, and if someone doesn't understand your truth, well, that's their path, not yours. You keep walking your own path Because the people who matter, they'll walk beside you, with you. No performance necessary.
Speaker 1:Before we wrap up today, I wanted to give all of you a reminder about the book of the month giveaway that I've started doing Last month. I started it out with my book from the Piney Woods and it ended at the end of April and we have a winner. I reached out to her and she sent me her address and I'm going to send her a beautiful package with my From the Piney Woods book signed and a beautiful journal to go alongside it, and I hope she uses it. I really do so.
Speaker 1:This month, the month of May, we're featuring the powerful collection Share, heal, empower, and the author, shannon Hogan Cohen has written three volumes. This one is volume one. It's her first one. It's a chorus of 24 incredible women's voices, from a teenage YouTuber recovering from an eating disorder to a 90-year-old Holocaust survivor, thank you. Every story is paired with original artwork created just for her, and every page is filled with heart, truth and the unshakable power of women who turn pain into purpose. It's my favorite thing All proceeds from Volume 2 of the she Series supports the she Foundation, helping empower and educate women across cultures, no matter their background, race or religion, and I have met Shannon.
Speaker 1:She is an incredible person and she writes the most beautiful stories. I really hope that you enter so that you can win a copy, but you can also find her on Amazon, so give her a, give her a look up and if you're anxious to start reading it, you can read. Start reading it volume one, then volume two and then volume three. I'm on volume two, so if you want to win your own copy, you just head to Pam Dwyer speakercom and click the book giveaway link to enter. Share it with your friends and you'll get extra entries too, as always. Thank you for tuning in, for showing up and for continuing to grow right alongside me. Keep your heart open, your feet steady and always, always, add a little more.