The Plus One Theory
The Plus One Theory Podcast explores how small, intentional actions can create big, lasting impacts in our personal and professional lives. Each episode features inspiring guests sharing their experiences with kindness, resilience, and the transformative power of doing just one more—The Plus One Theory in action.
The Plus One Theory
Episode 14: Letting Go of Bitterness: How Pride Becomes Your Prison and Trust Becomes Your Freedom
The heaviest burdens we carry are often invisible—pride that prevents reconciliation, damaged trust that keeps walls high, and bitterness that poisons our present. Today we're breaking down why these emotional chains weigh us down and how to find freedom through forgiveness and small steps toward healing.
Pride is tricky territory. We explore the critical difference between healthy pride that gives us confidence and toxic pride that isolates us completely. How many relationships have ended not because something unforgivable happened, but because no one was willing to take the first vulnerable step toward healing? When hurt happens, our brain's protective mechanisms kick in immediately. The lower brain screams "danger!" while our higher thinking remains capable of nuance—of understanding not everyone will hurt us the same way. The challenge is moving from that survival mode into something more balanced.
Forgiveness often gets misunderstood as weakness or surrender when it's actually profound strength. It doesn't mean trusting someone who hasn't earned it—trust and forgiveness are separate journeys with different timelines. What about when someone disappears without explanation, leaving you with questions that haunt you? We tackle the painful reality of relationships ending without closure and practical strategies for giving yourself the resolution you deserve. Through five actionable steps, you'll learn to recognize when fear is driving your decisions, how to extend trust gradually, acknowledge past wounds without letting them define you, practice self-liberating forgiveness, and redirect your energy toward purpose instead of pain.
Ready to put down the heavy chains of resentment and reclaim your joy? Share this episode with someone who needs this message, and remember: holding onto bitterness is like carrying a heavy chain you think protects you, when it's only weighing you down. Subscribe to the Plus One Theory podcast for more insights on becoming stronger through small, intentional steps that create lasting change.
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Are you someone who believes in the power of kindness, resilience, and intentional growth? Do you have a story about how small, meaningful steps have made a difference in your life or career?
I’d love to invite you to share your journey on The Plus One Theory Podcast!
This podcast is all about exploring how we can apply the Plus One Theory to create ripples of positivity and purpose in our personal and professional lives. I’m especially excited to feature guests who work in heart-centered careers—nurses, teachers, counselors, nonprofit leaders, caregivers, or anyone who dedicates their energy to helping others.
Your story could inspire listeners who are navigating their own challenges and looking for ways to take that next small step forward. Whether you’ve used kindness to overcome adversity, found strength in vulnerability, or applied intentional action to make an impact in your community, I want to hear from you!
Interested? Here’s How to Reach Out:
- Email me with a brief introduction about yourself and your story.
- Let me know how the Plus One Theory has played a role in your life or career.
Let’s work together to inspire others and create a ripple effect of kindness and resilience. I can’t wait to hear your story!
Share this with someone who inspires you...
Hello friends, this week on the Plus One Theory podcast, we are taking a deep dive into pride, trust and the burden of bitterness, and how these emotions can keep us stuck if we let them. But before we jump in, if this is your first time tuning in or if a friend sent you this episode, welcome. You've come to the right place to gain new insight into letting go of toxic pride, regaining trust and taking small but powerful steps toward healing. The Plus One Theory is all about small, intentional steps that create real change over time. It's not about perfection or overwhelming transformations. It's about choosing just one extra step forward every day to become a little stronger, a little more self-aware and a little more in control of your own energy. And today we're applying that theory to trust, pride and moving past resentment. What we'll cover is the difference between healthy pride and toxic pride, how trust is rebuilt, one step at a time, why. Forgiveness isn't about them. It's about you what to do when someone ghosts you or leaves without explanation and shifting your energy from pain to purpose. If you've been struggling with bitterness or resentment, ask yourself is this how I want my story to end? Every moment spent reliving pain is a moment taken away from building joy. Let go of what no longer serves you. Hey friends, welcome back to the Plus One Theory podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm Pam Dwyer, and today we're diving into a topic that affects all of us at some point Pride, trust and the burden of bitterness. We've all been hurt. We've all had moments when someone betrayed us, let us down or walked away when we needed them most and, if we're honest, many of us have also been guilty of shutting people out because we were too proud, too afraid to be vulnerable or too hurt to risk trusting again. But here's the real question how do we move forward, how do we heal and how do we make sure that our pride doesn't become a prison that keeps us stuck in the past? Let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Pride is often seen as a strength. We're told to be strong, to be independent, to never let anyone see us struggle. But there's a fine line between healthy pride and toxic pride, the kind that isolates us, keeps us from asking for help and convinces us that we have to handle everything alone. Think about it how many relationships, friendships, marriages, family bonds have been broken not because of something unforgivable, but because no one was willing to take the first step towards reconciliation, because neither side wanted to admit fault, reach out or be vulnerable. I've seen people carry grudges for years, not because they didn't want to reconnect, but because their pride wouldn't let them. And let's be real Holding onto resentment isn't strength. True strength is being willing to let go, to forgive and to move forward.
Speaker 1:When we've been hurt, our brain goes into protection mode. The lower brain, the part wired for survival, tells us don't trust again, don't get hurt again and keep your guard up. And over time that becomes our default setting. But there's another part of the brain, the frontal cortex, that actually thinks it through. It's the part that can say not everyone is the same. Maybe I can trust again, just a little, just enough to let the right people in. The problem is, many of us never make it to that step. We stay in the survival mode of our lower brain, keeping our walls up so high that no one can get in, even the people who want to love us.
Speaker 1:This is the big question, isn't it? When someone disappoints you, what do you do? Do you cut them off forever? Do you give them another chance? Do you let the bitterness take over? The truth is, forgiveness isn't for them, it's for you. Forgiveness releases you from the weight of bitterness, but forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. Trust has to be earned step-by-step, through time and consistency, but forgiveness, that's something you give freely so you don't carry that weight anymore. Now let's talk about something that's even harder when you never get closure yes, closure.
Speaker 1:Sometimes people just walk away, they ghost you, they cut you out with no explanation, and that can be one of the hardest things to accept, because you're left wondering what happened. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt them and not realize it? Should I have known? Here's the thing. Sometimes people assume we should just know what we did, but we are not mind readers. If you've lost someone and you have no idea why, the only thing you can do is give yourself closure If possible. Reach out one last time, let them know how you feel, tell them you were hurt, that you wish things had been different and that if they ever want to talk, you're open, and then you let it go. You don't have to keep wondering. You don't have to keep wondering. You don't have to keep replaying the what-ifs. You did your part. Now we're going to take a little break and hear from one of our sponsors Planning a party or special event, make it unforgettable with Backyard Shenanigans BCS.
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Speaker 1:So if you've been carrying pride like a shield and trust like a broken mirror. It's time to start taking small steps towards something better. And here's how, number one, you can recognize when it's your lower brain talking. That part of your brain only knows fear. It doesn't know healing. Shift to the logical part and ask am I pushing people away out of habit or because it's truly what's best? Number two start small.
Speaker 1:Trust isn't an all or nothing game. It starts in little moments, small acts of grace and testing the waters. Number three acknowledge the past, but don't let it own you. Yes, you've been hurt, but not everyone is the same and not everyone will fail you the same way. Number four forgive, not for them, but for you. Holding onto anger doesn't punish them. They could care less, but it poisons you. And number five shift your energy. Instead of focusing on the pain, focus on purpose. Pour your time and heart into things that make a difference Helping others, growing yourself, being kind when no one expects it.
Speaker 1:Surprise, if there's one thing I've learned, it's this Nothing good grows in a heart hardened by pride. The strongest people I know aren't the ones who hold grudges the longest, but the ones who let go, who choose love over resentment and who find strength in vulnerability. So, if you're holding on to bitterness, ask yourself is this how I want my story to end? Because every moment you spend in resentment is a moment you're not spending in joy. As I always say, holding on to pride and bitterness is like carrying a heavy chain you think it's protecting you, but it's only weighing you down. True strength is found in forgiveness, in choosing kindness over resentment and using your energy to build rather than destroy.
Speaker 1:That's it for today's episode of the Plus One Theory podcast. If this spoke to you, if it stirred something inside, share it with someone who needs to hear it and, as always, keep your heart open, your pride in check and your spirit light. Keep your heart open, your pride in check and your spirit light Until next time. I'm Pam Dwyer. Stay strong, stay kind and let go of what no longer serves you.